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Saturday, September 28, 2013

A Memory

Laundry day, washing clothes,
Dryer warm
Laid on the bed,
Always a favorite spot for Camille,
but she's nowhere to be seen.

Friday, September 27, 2013

In Memoriam



Camille, a tortoise feline who befriended me 18 years ago, has gone home in spirit. She came to me as a young cat, about 8-10 weeks old, via an interesting series of events. I was living in Winchester, in a small carriage house behind a garage of my dear friend Ramana. Another dear friend, Maddie MacNeil,  called me one day, asking if I was interested in a cat. Hmmm. I hadn't thought of a pet, but suddenly I was considering it. She explained that her neighbor found this cat in a tree on their property after quite a violent storm. They took her in, but being that their family was comprised of three dogs, they didn't think the cat would be welcome. They talked Maddie into temporary foster care. After Maddie called me, I went over to see the cat, and I fell in love with her. She was bright, beautifully mottled colors, as if an artist blended beige, lt. brown, brown, a reddish brown, and dabs of black all over her. With Ramana's permission, I took her in and named her, Camille. She has been my companion, my first-born,  for these past 18 yrs.
Over a week ago, Camille had an episode that I can only describe as a possible stroke. Though she had no paralysis, it weakened her considerably, and from then on she curled up in her favorite spots (she hobbled about from time-to-time), lost her "voice", but did not complain. She stopped eating solids (refused food), only sipping water from time-to-time. Wed., Sept 25, Camille hobbled over to the door - a real surprise to me - last night, I thought she would not make it through the night. It has been a chilly morning, 41 degrees, and even though she hardly EVER went out in the chill of the morning, I opened the door, and she slowly went outside. Camille laid herself down just outside the door. I checked on her every 10 minutes or so to see if she wanted to come back in. First check - no Camille. She was under the stairs in a favorite spot of hers. A bit later, I checked again, and she had moved to under the car. A bit later, I checked again, and she was gone. She often went across the street to a wooded area when she was well. She was nowhere to be seen, and I can only think that she hobbled her way across the street to the woods. I'll not go after her. I believe she went to another of her favorite spots -in the woods - to die, like many animals instinctively do. I waited to post this, and late in the afternoon, she hobbled out of the woods and I brought her inside.
Each day Camille seems weaker and weaker. Today is Friday, Sept. 27. I know Grayson knows. He started meowing at me incessantly just a minute ago. I went to check on Camille and she was gone. Camille died about 8:00pm. The 2 yr. olds are aware something's up, but they just continue being kids. We all cope in different ways.

I said goodbye to her so many times the past few days, cuddled with her, and told her how much I loved her and was grateful for her companionship and devotion. She struggled to speak in response. We said our goodbyes. She wanted to leave this world in her own way, and I allowed her to do so. I will miss her gentleness and loving presence. Thank you, Camille, for everything.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Dear Lord

My Lord,
My sweet Lord,
Will  the human species have to be destroyed
in order to evolve?

The world's ulcers are increasing
in so many parts of the world.

Fewer souls are living your words,
given by so many prophets
in so many cultures.

Turning a deaf ear,
living in fear,
separated by our egos,
our true divine state is overshadowed.

Perhaps this part of the experiment
is a failure.

Still, there is so much good being done,
challenged by the few who are blind and deaf,
believing in themselves, and dismissing Love.

agd 9.1.2013